Chapter 1:

Understanding the Military Culture of Today

Who’s in uniform?

Demographics

Many military personnel are single with no children

• About 20% are married with no children

• Many male single parents
• For every active duty member, there are 1.5 dependents
• Ethnically diverse
• Many from blended families, with several last names in one household

Age

• About 25% of active duty force under 25 years of age
• About 25% age 26-30
• About 25% age 31-35
• About 15% age 36-40
• Remainder over age 40

What’s life in the military like?

Life Situation

• Most are better educated than 20 years ago
• Some do not have understanding/experience of stability/predictability
• Some discover comfort of military order, reenlist and do career
• Many enter military to escape abusive situations
  • Abused often become abusers
  • High incidence of spousal/child abuse among this group
• More future / goal-oriented
• Trained more in transferable skills such as security and finance
• Career-minded enlisted to earn college tuition
• Some officers serve short-term to earn college degrees, then separate

How about their spirituality?

• More religious, less denominational
• Higher interest in spiritual things
• In contrast to society, exercise more freedom of religious expression
• More interested in committed relationships

What’s it like to ride the deployment roller-coaster? 

The Stages of Deployment

Stage 1. Pre-Deployment

• Starts with service member receiving a Warning Order
• Ends when service member departs from Home Station
• Time frame is variable and can range from several hours to more than a year

Pre-Deployment Emotional Reactions

FOR THE SERVICE MEMBER

• Bonding to unit
• Energized by mission
• Emotional distance
• Feeling overwhelmed

FOR THE FAMILY

• Conflicting feelings
• Loss vs. Denial
• Emotional distance
• Feelings of abandonment

Pre-Deployment Behavioral Responses

FOR THE SERVICE MEMBER

• Training long hours
• Getting affairs in order
• Conflicts
• Intimacy concerns
• Increased potential for accidents

FOR THE FAMILY

• Realigning responsibilities
• “Honey-Do” List
• Conflicts
• Intimacy concerns

Stage 2. Deployment

• Starts With service member’s departure from home through first month of separation

Deployment Emotional Responses

FOR THE SERVICE MEMBER

• Lack of control over family events
• Distracted by the mission
• Fear of the unknown
• Jealousy
• Homesickness

FOR THE FAMILY

• Reduced sense of safety
• Feelings of being overwhelmed and disoriented
• Jealousy
• Numb, sad and lonely

Deployment Behavioral Reactions

FOR THE SERVICE MEMBER

• Changes in appetite
• Sleep pattern changes
• Long phone calls home
• Irritability
• Alcohol or tobacco use

FOR THE FAMILY

• Changes in appetite
• Sleep pattern changes
• Crying spells
• Irritability
• Alcohol or tobacco use
• Children acting out

Stage 3. Sustainment

• Lasts from the end of the first month through the month prior to re-deployment
• A time of strengthening new sources of support and new routines

Sustainment Phase Emotional Responses

FOR THE SERVICE MEMBER

• Increased confidence
• Feeling forgotten
• Anger & resentment
• Vulnerable to rumors, distortions or misperceptions

FOR THE FAMILY

• Increased confidence and feelings of being in control, “I can do this!”
• Rumor control, distortion or misperceptions
• Frustration and feeling “trapped.”

Children’s Responses

Age-related

• Sudden changes in a child’s behavior or mood are common

Infants

Less than 1 year:

• may refuse to eat
• may appear listless
• Remedy: support from parent, family members, childcare and healthcare providers

Toddlers

1-3 Years:

• may have crying spells, tantrums
• may appear irritable or sad
• Remedy: Increased attention, more hugs, more holding

Preschool

3-6 Years:

• may have potty accidents
• may be clingy
• may appear irritable or sad
• Remedy: Increased attention, more hugs, more holding

School Age

6-12 Years:

• May whine more and complain of body aches
• Changes in school performance, particularly at the 3-month point in the deployment
• May appear irritable, sad
• Acting out/angry
• Remedy: Spend some quality time, maintain routines, get them involved in additional activities

Teenagers

12-18 Years:

• May isolate

• Changes in school performance
• May use alcohol, drugs, or other rebellious activities
• High risk behavior
• Remedy: patience, set limits, counseling

Stage 4. Re-Deployment

• The month before service member is scheduled to return home

Re-Deployment Emotional Reactions

FOR THE SERVICE MEMBER

• Anticipation
• Apprehension
• Homecoming fantasies

FOR THE FAMILY

• Anticipation
• Apprehension
• Homecoming fantasies

Re-Deployment Behavioral Reactions

FOR THE SERVICE MEMBER

• Ready to complete the mission
• Renewed difficulty making decisions.
• Expectations may be high
• Safety accidents

FOR THE FAMILY

• Burst of energy
• Completion of “to-do” lists
• Renewed difficulty making decisions
• Expectations may be high

Stage 5. Post-Deployment

• Typically this stage lasts from three to six months
• Starts with the “homecoming” of the deployed service member.

What strategies can families use to survive deployment?

Stage 1-Pre-Deployment

• Communicate, communicate, communicate
• Discuss in detail your expectations of each other during this phase
• Understand that emotional and behavioral reactions are normal
• Work together as a “team”

Stage 2: Deployment

• Find new ways to communicate (e-mail, phone calls, letter writing)
• Make contact on special days (birthdays, anniversaries, holidays)
• Depend on extend family
• Use a local established support system, or start your own

Stage 3: Sustainment

• Avoid discussing “hot topics” and making life-altering decisions if possible
• Take advantage of e-mail and letter writing
• Engage in healthy lifestyle choices
• Avoid overspending
• Take time for yourself
• Talk with Family Readiness Group

Stage 4: Re-Deployment

• Communicate, communicate, communicate
• Keep your focus
• Maintain established routines
• Keep expectations realistic
• Keep taking care of yourself
• Attend homecoming briefings

Does it get any easier when Johnny / Jane comes marching home?

Re-Deployment Emotional Reactions

FOR THE SERVICE MEMBER

• Anticipation
• Apprehension
• Homecoming fantasies

FOR THE FAMILY

• Anticipation
• Apprehension
• Homecoming fantasies

Re-Deployment Behavioral Reactions

FOR THE SERVICE MEMBER

• Ready to complete the mission
• Renewed difficulty making decisions
• Expectations may be high
• Safety accidents

FOR THE FAMILY

• Burst of energy
• Completion of “To-do” lists
• Renewed difficulty making decisions
• Expectations may be high

How can families cope with the turmoil of reunion?

• Communicate, communicate, communicate
• Keep your focus
• Maintain established routines
• Keep expectations realistic
• Keep taking care of yourself
• Attend homecoming briefings

How can the military cope with the high stress of today’s military environment?

• Practice positive self-care
• Avoid abusive substances
• Be flexible
• Set realistic goals and expectations
• Use praise and TLC
• Maintain a sense of humor
• Avoid sulking
• Stay spiritually connected
• Communicate, communicate, communicate

Comments are closed.